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标题: 求高人帮我看看我的task 1 能到几分 [打印本页]
作者: rosexwliu    时间: 2012-5-3 22:35
标题: 求高人帮我看看我的task 1 能到几分
很窘迫，以前没有参加过雅思，不知道写作处于一个什么水平，求助大家帮忙看看这样写task1能拿到多少分，帮我改改语法错误也好，谢谢，感激不尽~
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7 ~, \8 w2 g, G% K" m' l: r1 gThe graph below shows the average growth in domestic products in wealthy countries , countries that have adopted a global approach to business and countries that have not.# J9 c$ E3 S9 f4 U& s7 }
图搞不上来了，见谅阿~  o5 Q; F: n( R8 z
本人写的内容：: _# m- L' I% ^
The graph illustrates how the percentage of average anual gross domestic product change in the period from 1960s to 1990s in wealthy countries, globalisers and non-globisers.( i2 P/ H. ?3 [2 U1 u
As can be seen from the bar chart, the percengtage of GDP fell dramaticly from 4.8% to 2.8% until 1970s in rich coutries. It kept decrease tendency to 2% in a decade from 1970s to 1990s in same kinds of countries.0 S  [; J( ]9 F( A6 }& K
Onthe contray, the percentage of  globerlies GDP grow to 3.2% from 1.2% duir the period from 1960s to 1980s. The speed of GDP growth acclerated and climbed to 4.9% in 1990s.
+ o! O2 J2 g$ W1 Q# UTurning to non -globalisers whose GDPgrowthe fluctuated during four decade from 1960s to 1990s. The average annual GDP of non-globalises witness a gradually  increase to 3.2% and 1.3% from 1960s to 1970s and from 1980s to 1990s respectively. However, it also showed a sharply decline to 0.8% from 3.2% over a period between 1970s and 1980s.
作者: IELTS哥    时间: 2012-5-3 22:35
差不多能通过的样子；具体作文得分看大作文表现
作者: rosexwliu    时间: 2012-5-4 19:41
雅思哥 发表于 2012-5-3 22:35
) z4 a+ l& x& g; N差不多能通过的样子；具体作文得分看大作文表现
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谢谢，等我攒多几个金币我发上task1和task2，麻烦你到时候帮我看看评个分吧！！！！感激不尽了！！！！
作者: MooreYuan    时间: 2012-5-5 21:57
能通过是多少分啊？) s/ ]* M) U$ y! Y# O: ?; C8 G0 Z
错误还是有滴，几处冠词误用，句型有些变化但缺少流畅感。
作者: rosexwliu    时间: 2012-5-6 13:07
MooreYuan 发表于 2012-5-5 21:57
7 G) x2 N7 P& W" ?; F& F能通过是多少分啊？
2 `  o/ C) ~9 x+ J, H3 c错误还是有滴，几处冠词误用，句型有些变化但缺少流畅感。

9 p$ w& F3 Q/ C# @6 D5 U3 g4 X! W怎么样才有流畅感,可不可以给点例子吖?
作者: MooreYuan    时间: 2012-5-6 14:09
rosexwliu 发表于 2012-5-6 13:07 . L4 ]2 {0 m" J8 d
怎么样才有流畅感,可不可以给点例子吖?
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其实要看几本书，不是专门对准雅思
: j& h! K6 k2 f% f, ^比如，写作教科书，简单点的
) I% H/ \6 G& G- C我还读过一本下载的英文书，Coordination toward coherence没完全读懂，呵呵
& P: N8 o& J$ v) O  ^( x这书的招，除了grammer cohension，还有semantic cohension，后者更重要
作者: rosexwliu    时间: 2012-5-6 21:52
MooreYuan 发表于 2012-5-6 14:09
8 k4 y5 \' b, a3 O3 A) B其实要看几本书，不是专门对准雅思
4 e5 a1 l  Q3 z6 @比如，写作教科书，简单点的& a  @) Q# A& Y
我还读过一本下载的英文书，Coordina ...
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多谢多谢,等我的金币够了再大小作文一起发,麻烦来看看啊~~
作者: wangzhuoqing123    时间: 2012-5-7 15:50
you xie xue cuowu
作者: aaa222    时间: 2016-11-13 18:12
同求问！！！！！！！！



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