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标题: 英文小笑话(持续更新ing) [打印本页]

作者: 业了个一 时间: 2011-3-9 08:41
标题: 英文小笑话(持续更新ing)
本帖最后由业了个一于 2011-3-9 15:45 编辑

每天读一读背一背,还是很有意思的,至少看着也有些兴趣.

1.Waiting

Mr. and Mrs. Clark decided to separate. Before being allowed to do so legally,

the Family Court insisted they undergo some counseling from the marriage counselor to see if

their union could be saved. The counselor did her best, but it didn’t work. Mr. and

Mrs. Clark made up their minds to go through with the separation leading to divorce.

Finally, the counselor said, “But you’re 95 and your wife is 93. You’ve been married

for 72 years! Why do you want to separate now?” Mr. Clark replied: “We haven’t been

able to stand each other for the last 46 years. But we thought we should wait until

all the children died before we split up.”

漫长的等待

克拉克先生和克拉克太太决定离婚。在履行法律程序时，家庭法庭坚持先让婚姻顾问给他们做一些调解工作，

看他们的关系能否维持。这个顾问尽了最大的努力，可是不能奏效。克拉克先生和克拉克太太下了决心非离婚

不可。最后，顾问说：“但是您已经95岁了，而您的太太也已经93岁了。你们已经结婚72年了！为什么非要现

在离婚呢？”克拉克先生回答：“后来的这46年来，我们一直都不能忍受对方。但是我们想应该等到孩子们都

去世以后我们再离开。”

2.haha

I have had my best love before, but I didn't treasure her. When I lost her, I fell regretful.

It is the most painful matter in this world. If God can give me another chance,

I will say 3 words to her --- I love you. If you have to give a time limit to this love, I hope it is 10thousand years.

不解释,果断喜欢

3.昂贵的代价

Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.

Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.

Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.

牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。

母亲：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀？

牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了。

4.The strongest man

A guy rushes into a bar and shouts, "Who's the strongest in here?"

The strongest guy looks at him and says "I am the strongest around here!"

The other guy politely asks "Can you help me push my car to the gas station?"

最强壮的人
一个男人闯进酒吧，高声叫道：“谁是这儿最强壮的人。”

最强壮的人盯着他说：“我就是，你有什么事儿。”

那个人客气的说，“请帮我把车推到加油站。”

5.Tom’s Answer

Tom’s Answer
Teacher: Today we are going to learn subtraction.

Tom, if your little sister has ten pencils and you take away four from them. What’s the result?

Tom: Oh, let me see. The result is that she is sure to cry.

汤姆的回答
老师：“今天我们要学习减法。汤姆，如果你妹妹有10支铅笔，

你从中拿走了4支，结果是什么？

汤姆：噢，让我想想。结果是她肯定得哭。

6.I wish he were

I wish he were

A big crowd were gathered outside a hotel where a famous millionaire died of a car accident.

Among the crowd a young man apparently looked very sad. An old man who felt sympathy and

said to the young man, " I understand you. I thought he was your relative. am i right? "

" There lies the problem. he was not my relative at all."

但愿他是

一大群人聚集在一家旅馆外面。在那里，一个很有名的百万富翁刚刚死于车祸。

人群中，一位男青年显得分外伤心。一位颇具同情心的老人对他说：“我能理解你的心情，

我想他是你的亲戚吧？”

年轻人说：“问题就在这里——他不是呀！”

7.Go slow

Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?

Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".

老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?

汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着"学校----慢行".

8.make my hair look like yours

make my hair look like yours

A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop. "How can I help you?" asked the stylist.

"I went for a hair transplant," the guy explained, "but I couldn't stand the pain. If you can make my hair look like yours

without causing me any discomfort, I'll pay you $5,000."

"No problem," said the stylist, and he quickly shaved his head.

和你的发型一样

一个秃头的男人坐在理发店里。发型师问：“有什么可以帮你吗？”

那个人解释说：“我本来要去做头发移植，但实在太疼了。如果你能够让我的头发看起来像你的一样，而且没有任何痛苦，我将

付给你5000美元。”

没有问题,理发师说后,很快地给自己理了个光头

作者: 赵怂怂 时间: 2011-3-9 13:10

第二个我喜欢我喜欢啊

作者: elite9119 时间: 2012-2-29 19:56
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作者: 孙迪 时间: 2012-2-29 21:02

作者: 陆梦昕 时间: 2012-3-9 16:18

作者: 多_×_Kandice 时间: 2013-2-5 08:27
dddddddddddddddddddddddddd

作者: 玄野兔 时间: 2013-2-28 11:12
楼主好人1024

作者: Mr_BaLeeee 时间: 2013-3-18 01:48
楼主的帖子怎么样？赶紧试试这里的快速回复给楼主点评论吧

作者: yiyi0830 时间: 2014-6-14 11:51
Very funny

作者: iglpj 时间: 2015-9-11 01:52
强烈支持，楼主万岁！

作者: Aryemis 时间: 2015-11-27 18:09
hahahahahahahahahahah~~~

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